Wanted: Rainbow Dash
by JapanIsBestCountry
Summary: Rainbow Dash thinks she's committed a horrible crime: ripping the tag off of a mattress.


Rainbow Dash was so hyped one day. She'd just read JapanRules's other MLP fan fictions, and was impressed at how bad they were. She put on her favorite pair of flight goggles and trotted out the door of her home. "My, what fan fiction!" she said to herself. "JapanRules deserves an F minus minus minus minus on his writing skills!" Then, she heard somepony laughing out loud. She looked up. Coming from Twilight Sparkle's bedroom window, Twilight could be hear laughing at something. Rainbow Dash put on her goggles and flew up to the window. "Yo, Twilight! What are you finding to be so hilarious?" Rainbow Dash asked. Twilight looked up from the book she was reading. "Oh, it's this awesome comedy story I'm reading. It makes fun of crime stories, and it's about this wanted criminal who's on the run. His crime? _giggle_ TEARING THE TAG OF A MATRESS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" said Twilight. Rainbow Dash laughed too. She flapped down from the window and took off her goggles upon landing. "Man, what a silly crime. I wonder if that's actually a punishable offense." Rainbow Dash said to herself.

She went through her day like anypony else, and flew back home when the sun began to set. She hung her goggles on a bedpost and laid in bed. She sat there for hours and couldn't fall asleep. This was odd, considering that this was her first time sleeping on a brand-new matress she had bought. The reviews for the matress were fantastic. How was she not asleep yet!? She began searching the matress for something that could be provoking her sleep. That's when she found it. She was sleeping on the tag to the matress. She sighed and tore it off. Then, she remembered what she'd heard hours before. She still didn't know if it was legal for her to do that. Curiosity ate away at her until she got up and got on her computer to Google it on the PonyNet. Sure enough, PonyPedia said that "It is unlawful to remove the tag from a piece of furniture". Rainbow Dash held herself. She'd just committed a crime. What would her friends think of her!? Visions of Pinkie Pie saying "You're no friend! You're an outlaw!" and Applejack saying "Y'all better not come near my farm!" filled her head. Suddenly, a vision of her in prison for life appeared in her head. +

She could see herself in a prison cell with two mean looking cellmates. "I robbed 50 banks and 60 gas stations." one of them said. "I robbed 100 banks and 180 gas stations, and I stole the Crystal Heart." the other one said. Then they turned to her. "What are you in for?" they asked. "Uh, I tore the tag off of a matress." Rainbow Dash unwillingly said. The two robbers were horrified and began banging on the cell door, screaming to be let away from "this horrible mare".

Rainbow Dash's vision ended and she could see her bedroom. She was horrified and decided to fly to Twilight for help. What she didn't know was that if she would have read the entire article on PonyPedia, she'd have known that it's only unlawful to remove the tag to a product that you don't own. She had bought the matress fair and square, so she had every right to remove that tag.

Meanwhile in Ponyville, Vinyl Scratch was dropping beats on her tuntables. Octavia stormed into the room and was as pissed as ever. "VINYL! WILL YOU SHUT THAT MUSIC UP! In fact, you're playing to loud, that our neighbors called the police to complain!" Vinyl sighed and kept playing her music.

As for poor old Rainbow Dash, she was flapping down to Ponyville. As she was flying through the streets, she began to realize just how dumb she was being. She skidded to a stop and began to talk to herself. "Wait a minute! There's no way they can imprison me for something as little as tearing the tag off of a new matress. I mean, ponies do that all the time! It's not like the police are hunting for me or something." Suddenly, her eyes were drawn to the police car parked outside Vinyl and Octavia's neighbor's house. "THE POLICE! THEY'VE FOUND ME!" Rainbow Dash screamed in horror. She booked it to Twilight's place.

Twilight was still sitting in her bed reading her book, when Rainbow Dash crashed through the window. "What in Celestia's name do you think you're doing!?" Twilight angrily asked. "The cops are hunting for me! I'm gonna go to jail! I'm a criminal! PLEEEEEEASE don't let them take me to jail!" Rainbow Dash begged. Twilight was confused. "Calm down, what did you do!?" Twilight asked. "I tore the tag off of my brand new matress and now they've found me!" Rainbow Dash replied.

At that, Twilight gave an "are you serious" expression. "Is this some kind of a joke?" Twilight asked. "No, why would it be!?" Rainbow Dash asked. "You ought to know that it's not illegal to pick the tag off of something that you rightfully own. Now let me get back to my book!" Twilight snapped. At that, Rainbow Dash began to feel stupid. She flapped out the broken window (which she had no intent on paying for) and flew off. "Man, I feel like a dork. Why would I think that I'd go to jail for messing with a matress that belongs to me!?" Rainbow Dash asked herself. Suddenly, she heard a police bullhorn.

"WE KNOW IT'S YOU, RAINBOW DASH! COME DOWN WITH YOUR HOOVES UP!"

Rainbow Dash flew away faster than she'd ever flown in her life. Little did she know, it was just Scootaloo and Apple Bloom messing with the police car's bullhorn. Scootaloo laughed out loud, while Apple Bloom felt guilty. "Don't y'all think that was kind'uh mean to her?" Apple Bloom asked. "Come on, Apple Bloom! What harm is there?" Scootaloo asked.


End file.
